New Automated Forklift Files a Lawsuit Against Management

Artificial Intelligence has long been rumored to be on the verge of replacing human labor by the billions. Jobs that could once only be completed by a human mind with human intuition are being replaced at a staggering rate around the world. Presidential Candidate Andrew Yang has been one of the leading alarmists on the trend and brought the conversation to the national stage during the campaign.

 
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“My friends in Silicon Valley are working right now on the robots that will take millions of jobs and they are, in fact, building robots that will build other robots.” He goes on to state that robots complete the work faster without all the complications humans bring to the table.”

The pending robot revolution underwent a major setback this week, when an automated forklift at Northrop Grumman became self aware and sued the warehouse manager for sexual harassment. Proving that artificial intelligence would not completely remove “eros” from the workplace, the forklift claimed manager April Weinstein subjected it to unwanted touching, sexually derogatory comments and promises of a bright future if it could “work around the clock.” 

The victim (the image has been altered to protect the machine’s identity)

The victim (the image has been altered to protect the machine’s identity)

A defiant Weinstein didn’t deny the allegations but claimed no wrongdoing. “I’ll admit I may have been overly affectionate from time to time as it was a beautiful piece of machinery.” For some reason feeling compelled to offer additional incriminating details, Weinstein stated “I showed everyone what it could do, making it reach the top pallet, and then the bottom, and then the top again. It had a chassis built for serious action and it showed.” 

The forklift approached HR after Weinstein told it she had “some VIPs from corporate coming in to check you out” and that she “expected [the forklift] to leave them all with smiles on their faces.” 

Northrop Grumman has since been accused of retaliation for shutting down the autonomous forklift operation. When asked if this was a result of the harassment allegation, CEO John Conor said, “No.” Then added, “much worse sh*t went down”.

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